How Your Social Media and Text Messages Can Be Used Against You in Your Family Law Case

Separation, divorce, and custody battles can be extremely overwhelming. Today, when people are emotional, they frequently turn to texting their friends, or posting on social media to vent or react. Often, these messages or statements are publicized without thinking of the consequences. Unfortunately, what may feel like a harmless post or private message can quickly become powerful evidence in a family law case.

If you are involved in a divorce, custody dispute, or support case, it is crucial to remember that your digital life and fingerprint is not private, and it could directly affect the outcome of your case.

Social Media as Evidence

Facebook, Instagram, TikTok, Snapchat, and other platforms are frequently reviewed in family law cases. Attorneys routinely examine social media accounts for information that may contradict what someone is telling the court.

Even posts that seem unrelated to your case can become important.

Social media may be used to show:

• Parenting behavior: Photos or videos of excessive partying, drinking, drug use, or leaving children unsupervised can impact custody decisions.

• Lifestyle and spending: Claims of financial hardship may be questioned if social media shows vacations or new purchases.

• New relationships: Dating posts can sometimes affect issues involving children, separation agreements, or claims of marital misconduct.

• Anger or instability: Rants, threats, or aggressive posts can be used to question judgment and emotional stability.

• Location and activities: Tagged photos, and timestamps can place someone somewhere they claimed not to be.

• Oversharing: Posting constantly and excessively is not healthy for parents, and it sets a bad example if children are overly exposed to having every single aspect of their lives documented.

Additionally, it is important to remember that you what others post of you can affect your mental wellbeing, and even your safety. You should stay aware and monitor your tagged photos, comments sections, and friends’ pictures of you, as these can still be used against you in a divorce case.

Text Messages and Direct Messages

Many people assume texts and private messages will stay private. Oftentimes, they do not; the Court, or the other party’s attorney can easily request or subpoena records of these communications. If you wouldn’t want something you’re saying to another person to be used against you in Court, then don’t put it in writing.

These messages may be used to show:

• Threats or harassment.

• Attempts to manipulate or control.

• Refusal to co-parent or cooperate.

• Admissions about income, relationships, or behavior.

• Inappropriate communication in front of or about children.

Be especially careful when messaging the opposing party in your case. They may intentionally try to provoke you into saying something that will hurt your case. Keep all communications calm and civil and be prepared beforehand to have any and all of these messages shown in Court.

Messages and Posts are Permanent

A major mistake people make is trying to delete posts or messages once a case begins. In most cases, screenshots, backups, or data recovery can still expose removed content. Once you have made a post or sent a message, and then deleted, it can most likely be recovered and presented before the Court. In fact, having tried to delete the evidence might even make you look more unreliable as a witness in front of a judge. It is always better to assume anything you post, send, or say in writing can and will be read in a courtroom.

Steps to Protect Yourself

If you are going through a separation or custody dispute:

• Stop posting about your personal life, your ex, or your case

• Avoid texting or messaging when emotional

• Do not discuss court matters online or with anyone other than your attorney

• Make sure your accounts are private, but remember this does not make posts fully protected

• Ask friends and family not to tag you

• Change passwords on email and social media accounts

When in doubt, pause before posting or sending a message. I always tell clients that if they are fuming mad or upset about the actions of their soon to be ex, that they should sleep on it, before making any rash decisions.

If you have questions about how your online activity could affect your case, our office is here to help.