So you decided it’s time for a divorce. What now?
By Benjamin T. McLawhorn, Esq.
Let me start by saying this. If you're reading this blog, you're probably carrying a lot right now. Maybe this decision came suddenly. Maybe it took years of trying to make things work. Either way, you’ve reached a point where you know something has to change.
That alone takes strength. And now you're asking the question: what happens next?
I've worked with many people in your shoes. I’ve seen the stress, the heartbreak, the fear of the unknown. I’ve also seen the relief and clarity that comes once you start moving forward. So let’s talk through what to expect and how to take those first few steps.
Step One: Take a Breath
This is important. Before you start calling people or researching legal forms, just stop and breathe.
Choosing divorce doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re choosing peace. It means you’re choosing your future. Sometimes it even means you're choosing to be better co-parents instead of strained partners. It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel unsure. But it’s also okay to feel ready.
Step Two: Learn Your Rights
Before you move out, before you tell your spouse, before you sign anything, talk to an attorney. I say this not as a lawyer trying to sell you something, but as someone who has seen too many people hurt themselves by making decisions too early.
In North Carolina, divorce involves more than just deciding you’re done. It impacts property, finances, custody, and your long-term stability. When you meet with my firm, we’ll walk through what this will mean for you. We’ll talk about:
What “separation” really means in North Carolina
Who stays in the house and what happens to your property
Child custody, visitation, and support
Whether spousal support (alimony) applies
How to protect your finances from day one
This is not about rushing into court. It is about knowing your options before someone else makes the decisions for you.
Step Three: Keep Your Future in Mind
It can be tempting to make decisions based on anger or pain. I understand that. Divorce brings out intense emotions. But the choices you make now will shape your future, not just your present.
Our role is to guide you through this in a way that protects your peace and your future. That means helping you:
Think clearly about custody and parenting schedules
Plan for financial independence
Understand when it’s time to compromise and when it’s not
The goal isn’t to win against your spouse. The goal is to build a life that feels right and stable when this chapter ends.
Step Four: Build Your Support System
You don’t have to do this alone. A good divorce attorney is only one part of your support system. Lean on people you trust. This might be a therapist, a close friend, or a family member who reminds you who you are.
At my firm, we don’t treat this as just another case. We understand that you’re going through something real. We are here to guide, to explain, and to help you make decisions with confidence.
One Final Thing
If you’ve decided it’s time for a divorce, you have already made the hardest decision. The next step is to take action that protects your future.
I won’t promise you that this will be easy, but know that if you work with us, you won’t be alone. We know how to walk people through this. We know how to listen. And we know how to help.
You don’t need to have it all figured out right now. You just need to take one step forward.
We’re here when you’re ready.
Benjamin T. McLawhorn is the founding attorney of The Law Offices of Benjamin T. McLawhorn, PLLC in Cary, North Carolina. He focuses on family law, employment disputes, and helping people navigate difficult transitions with compassion and clarity.
Ready to talk? Contact us today!
919-495-4551
